What do you stand to lose in a fight?
- Your health and well-being
- Financial stuff from civil litigation
- The respect of your friends and family
And the most expendable of all of these things is your pride. When you lose a fight that you started (or instigated) in front of other people, they’ll tend to view you differently from here on out. It can make people not trust you, see you as unpredictable, or even worry that you’re unstable and violent.
Now, what can you possible stand to win in a fight?
- Your life, your safety
That’s all you ever have to potentially win in a fight. That’s it. You can’t hope to retain your property or the respect of others or anything else you may view as valuable. The most you can expect to get out of a fight is simply your life and your own well-being.
If your life and safety are not directly threatened, you don’t need to be in a fight. Proving a point or “standing up for something you believe in” are all stupid reasons to get into a fight.
A lover lost? A friend turned bad? None of these things improve in the least with the addition of violence. Even if you “win”, you still lose. And as an adult living in a civilized society, the consequences for “winning” or losing are pretty much the same. Bruises, cuts, potentially broken bones, and the likelihood that when the police arrive, they’re not going to recognize your “standing up for something you believe in”. That’s just a fact of life.
Why do we keep dwelling on “standing up for something you believe in”? Because it’s a common idiot response when someone says he’s going to get into a fight he doesn’t need to be in. It’s undirected energy and motivation turned to its most vilest element.
You don’t defeat your enemy by pummeling him to the ground. You defeat your enemy by surviving him. There are more better suited weapons in this world than fists. Violence is the lowest common denominator. It is the tool used by the oppressor on the oppressed.
Self-defense happens when you have no choice. When you see someone you love being attacked or you, yourself, are being attacked, options for retreat at delayed until the immediate threat is handled.
Handling your own stuff is how you get people to respect you. Getting into fights you don’t need to be in is a fast way for people to view you in a negative light.
Handle Your Own Stuff – Stop Thinking With Your Fists
What other weapons exist other than your use of force? Let’s discuss:
- Legalistic force
Here’s three weapons that every major general has had to leverage to win a fight. The war for ideas involves dismantling your opponent with your mind before the first blow is ever struck. If you can weaken your opponent, wear down his network of support and defenses, and draw him out at his most vulnerable, you will never need to even throw a punch – he’ll do all the self-destructive work on his own.
Monetary instruments are another great invention used predominantly for subjugating others. Being more successful, having more financial ability to move at will are all means you can use to better yourself and distance yourself from your opponent. If you’re getting bullied or harassed, grow up to own that dude’s company. Develop a plan to get yourself out of his sphere of influence and use that unmitigated frustration for your own betterment.
And lastly, legalistic force. You know who’s tougher than the dude trying to beat you up? The cops. If you throw a punch, even if you win, you still lose. However, if he throws a punch, what’s his can now be yours.
The pain of a hard punch to the face is minimal in comparison to driving around the dude’s Mustang afterwards. That’s what’s called using legalistic force.
Now, you may have noticed, we’re not focusing on life-or-death scenarios. Why? Because in those scenarios where your life is threatened, you must fight. And you must win. When either of those two factors are involved, fight dirty, fight to win, and show no mercy until your attacker is neutralized.
Everything else can be handled with a bit of finesse and some planning.